Many marriages cope well managing a range of areas of their lives without too much difficulty but suffer greatly when it comes to managing conflict. Conflict can even be destructive as to undermine the solid foundations of an otherwise good marriage.
I use the language “manage conflict” rather than “resolve conflict” as it is possible that you will never ever resolve particular issues in your marriage. You can, however, learn the tools such as my “bible for doing conflict” to manage difficult issues in your relationship in an efficient and effective way.
Relationship guru Dr Gottman reports that 69% of all conflict within a marriage is gridlocked.
Gridlocked conflict is that conflict that rears its ugly head in similar ways and various forms within a marriage again and again. Arguments about household chores or feeling of betrayals that resurface can create serious consequences for the marriage if not approached in the right way.
The research says, however, that one conflict a week in a relationship is a healthy part of growth that can be beneficial in a marriage. Those conflict avoidant types out there also need to understand how brushing any difficult feelings under the carpet has a tendency to lead to even more disastrous results in ones marriage. Conflict can be done well or badly the difference being in the approach. Conflict is an opportunity for growth and understanding and doesn’t need to be something to avoid.
The ability to regulate your emotions and the strength of the attachment in your relationship will predict the length and quality of your marriage. Equally important is the type of dialogue that is used to de-escalate heated arguments. These elements can all be learnt, developed and mastered to achieve a strong and loving relationship.
I provide couple counselling that utilises tried and true formulas and strategies that will enable you to confidently do conflict in a safe, beneficial and dignified way.
For more information about couples counselling go to: